i kept scrolling to find out it was all just a back story for this gif
if we’re in a mutual you should give me your:
social security #’s
Mom: Home in 5 minutes, hope you’ve taken the chicken out of the freezer
I hit words at random on iOS 8’s new predictive text feature so I could see what type of sentence my phone thinks I’m likely to say, and
IF YOU EVER GET IN A FIGHT WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER JUST BREATHE IN THE HELIUM OUT OF A BALLOON AND HAVE AN ARGUMENT AND THE FIRST ONE TO LAUGH LOSES
you just put every marriage counsellor out of business
"Be yourself" they said. You’ll get laid they said.